The Miracle of MultiTasking

Today we focus on the key to ultimate balance, wealth and happiness in life. I have finally discovered the secret that we’ve all been seeking, and I want to share it with all my friends on this world wide internet thing.

The beauty of my discovery is that it requires just four simple steps, and I’ll try to explain them fully here, although you’ll have to excuse me if the explanation is a bit disjointed. I’m writing this in between projects today. I’m multitasking.

In fact, multitasking is the first of the four key steps to balance, wealth, and happiness I wrote about above. As you know, multitasking is a high-tech phrase that means running around in circles, trying to do too many things at once and, ultimately, failing to process anything quite right. When it comes to multitasking, I’m really good.

You can’t tell by reading this, but one hour has passed since I wrote that last line. I don’t really remember what I did in the intervening time, but I know I was exceptionally productive and very wise.

I was able to be brilliant because I was multitasking. Instead of having a one hour conference call to discuss a pending issue, for example, I handle it via e-mail. After all, I can’t spare an hour today. After five or ten or twenty e-mail messages have gone back and forth, I’ll have spent a half hour reading and responding to these messages, and much will be lost in the translation.

However, I’ll save a half hour. Good thing, too, because ultimately I get frustrated with the e-mail string and pick up the phone anyway. But I have 30 minutes free for the the conversation, because I save so much time e-mailing.

Luckily, my PDA/Phone/Browser/Calculator/Camera/Paperweight unit makes it easy to multitask. And did I mention FaceBook and LinkedIn? I can do it all and I can do it all at once. Hang on a second; I have a call coming in. Okay, I’m back. Where were we?

Oh, yes, I’m multitasking. Look at how many balls I can juggle. Of course, I had better be good at juggling, because I am going to be doing it forever. The one limit to multitasking is that you get so good at keeping all the balls in the air that you never really finish anything. Not that you need to, of course, because nobody else is finishing anything, either.

But just in case you want to get something completed and checked off your list, you’ll want to know step two in my secret plan for wealth, happiness and balance. Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait a while, because I have another call coming in.

In the meantime, just focus on multitasking.

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3 Responses to The Miracle of MultiTasking

  1. […] Michael: Your Name Here Guide To Life The Miracle of Multitasking From Kelly: Love Well The Christmas Cookies Made Us […]

  2. Hi Michael!

    Nicely said. I’m going to be laughing over, “I don’t really remember what I did in the intervening time, but I know I was exceptionally productive and very wise.” for a few days, at least.

  3. jenna says:

    So, so true. Thanks for this, especially from a male perspective.

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